As I’ve lived out my dream as a Stardew Valley farmer for over half a year now, I’ve learned a lot about the little devils that are chickens, as well as a lot of things that I, as well as many others, would never have thought to be traits of chickens. And so, here are some fun facts about, at least my, backyard chickens: 

1. Hens can lay eggs even without a rooster

Although in a biological sense, this seems as it should be obvious, the first thing people ask me when I say that I have all hens and still get eggs, is how that’s even possible?, or how do I know whether chicks are in them or not? The answer to this is that female chickens will always lay eggs, with or without the presence of a rooster, as long as they have enough light. Although we all learned in freshman year biology and/or health that there needs to be a male and female in order for an egg to be fertilized and life to exist, this is still a large preconception among chicks. Furthermore, using what we learned in freshman year health, hens, just like human girls, will always make and pass their eggs in the form of one’s period, even without a significant other. 

2. You can become part of their flock

Chickens can be extremely sweet creatures. Although they have very frequent mischievous moments, if you gain the trust of your chickens, it’s almost like they adopt you into your flock. Some of my favorite things that my chickens do to each other is clean each other’s features and beaks, follow each other whenever one strays from the flock, sleep on top of each other in one pile, and steal each other’s food, which leads to a fun chase and series of exchanges around my backyard. Over the past 6 months with my chicks, I’ve noticed they started to treat me in the same way. They’d run to me whenever I’d come home from school, follow me around my backyard, clean themselves or sleep on top of each other around my feet, and peck at my pants or jacket which, although sometimes hurts and may originally seem evil, is actually them just trying to clean any lint or the unfamiliar lines off of me. As for the frequent chases, one time my favorite chick, Kiki, was sitting around my feet when my cousins and I were eating pizza outside. I thought she was just keeping me company, as she’s the only one who does. Instead, when I turned my head, she jumped up and grabbed the cheese off my pizza, leading to a 10 minute long chase around my backyard that I did not win. 

3. They’re not hard to differentiate 

A friend of mine, who has chickens as well, and I were talking the other day about how evil our favorite chicks were, and she made the comment that she finally understands parents with twins. Although to most my chickens look the same, practically identical, I can point and tell you each difference and the name of each. Kiki has a lighter neck, Patty has redder features, Jenny has the whitest back, Lizzie has the biggest features overall, and Lucy and Delilah are like twins, but Delilah is slimmer. Looking at the picture below, I may sound crazy right now, but after watching my girls grow from one week old chicks to six month old hens has made me realize all their individual personalities and features. 

4. They are “evil”!

While mine are more behaved with each other than other chickens, overall, all chickens are evil. These vile creatures, although cute, refuse to be constrained. When I was first introducing them to my backyard, I originally tried restricting them to a small area, but each day they started inching more and more out until all of my flowers were eaten, until numerous holes appeared in the ground, and until all my grass and crops were killed. Chickens perform something called dust baths which, although adorable, is an instinct to clean the parasites out of their feathers, leaving holes all around one’s backyard, in their grass, under their trees, and even in their garden! Even worse, anything they see, they’ll eat- ranging from grass, to tomatoes, to even praying mantises! They have no compassion for life- only for their stomachs. They’ll also excitedly kick around all the rocks in your backyard, even the decorative ones that you may love, and refuse to go in their coop at night even after you’ve squeezed yourself into it for the past hour. Each time they go up, another comes down before you can lock them safely in. They’ll also peck you! While for me it’s out of love, if they don’t like you, or if you’re just my uncle, they’ll peck at your toes any chance they get. And last, worst of all, they’ll poop anywhere. If you give them even the slightest bit of freedom, they’ll take advantage of it, and you’ll find poop on your patio, furniture, and even pool covers. It’s disgusting, especially as they’re constantly stepping in it and then trying to stand on you, but it’s unfortunately the cost of having chickens. 

5. They are very fragile, yet violent creatures

Upon getting chickens, as I had no idea what I was getting myself into, I had read a lot of articles regarding how to care for chickens. I heard of many horror stories of people’s dogs eating their chickens, foxes digging into coops, and chickens pecking each other’s eyes out. Possibly worst of all, I learned that roosters, when mating with a hen, will be so rough that they can physically break the hen’s wings, requiring a saddle for safety to be purchased for the safety of the hen! My chicks are shockingly well behaved, but not long after they started laying eggs I realized that the chicken hierarchy was starting to form, where certain chickens try to assert their dominance by picking on the other chicks. Luckily this doesn’t include pecking each other’s eyes out, but my oldest will peck two of my favorites, Kiki or Jenny on the daily, making them terrified and making me very angry and sad. The only way to prevent this is to either isolate the victims or attacker, or to reprimand the abusing chicken. However, the last time I tried I ended up with mud all over my jeans. Although violent, chickens are very fragile, as even the smallest bit of heat on them can make them lose all their feathers and die in the winter, and as the smallest peck to one’s eye can form a protective coat. To enforce this, the eye can cause the formation of a layer called the third eye, and as they flinch their wings out at one’s slightest movement.

6. They are absolutely disgusting!

If my comments regarding the ever-present poop wasn’t enough of a sign, I’ll reinforce the fact that chickens are extremely disgusting creatures. If they aren’t pooping all over your yard, then your chickens are most likely pooping in every crevice of their coop. Whether it be during their run, or in the hen house, as I like to call it, where they’re supposed to roam, there is so much of it. While the run is manageable, as the rain can mix the poop into the dirt, the coop requires the owner to scoop out the poop by hand and change the hay frequently. This may sound easy, but it becomes much harder as one learns that this process of sweat and tears takes at minimum a quarter of an hour, which is hard for me being that I feel as if I’d faint if in the sun sweating for five minutes, and as one learns of how chickens sleep. When they sleep, chickens actually don’t like sitting in their laying boxes on their eggs, but rather perched on some stick. So, every night, my six robust chicks force themselves onto one short stick. Although cute, chickens actually poop in their sleep, meaning every morning brings a new line of poop. And, worst of all, if left alone, these lines can result in worms and maggots growing which is not only unhealthy for the chickens, but extremely sickening to the owners. In addition to this, as I learned from an Instagram post roughly two years ago, chickens, like all birds, apparently poop and pee from the same hole. What I didn’t know, however, was that this meant they practically poop out an egg every morning. Although a great thing to have, this means that everyday I need to spend a few minutes per egg, washing off the protective layer and poop from the fresh eggs, to prevent sickness within ourselves. Although I’ve gotten used to washing my hands every time I see my chicks, sometimes I just get repulsed by the reality of my Stardew Valley dream. On the bright side, as they’re older, I no longer have to worry about possibly the most disgusting aspect of home chicks: pasty butt. Pasty butt is a common chicken owner term used to describe the almost constipation of a very young chick, where poop is physically stuck in their butt and, unless you remove it yourself, they will die. Thankfully only two of my chicks ever had pasty butt after the first two weeks I had them, but this is nonetheless a vile consequence of raising chickens that I’ll never forget.

7. They are some of the best pets a person can have

Although huge pains and causes of many fights, at the end of the day, I love my little devils. I can’t imagine my life without chickens right now. Although I’ve only had them for barely over half a year, these chickens have changed my entire way of life. Now, everyday, I get up, let the chicks out, get their food and water, and then head to school where I await the moment where I can open my gate door and scream “Hello my girls,” and watch as their wobbling little bodies run at me at full speed, which they’d otherwise only do at the sound of the treat bag. Although they’re extremely glutenous and will yell at me for more corn with maggots, it’s so cute how they’ll follow me everywhere with or without the snacks, and how everyday I can look forward to them surrounding me as they try to clean me from the day. For instance, the highlight of my day today was getting off the bus, exhausted from taking two tests, and coming into my backyard to have all my chicks running at me like it was life or death, then literally hopping on the side of the bench I was sitting on, just to be next to me. Although I’m technically not supposed to let them be on the furniture, having the two chicks on my side and the other four across staring at me was the highlight of my afternoon, and instantly cheered my sleep deprived mind up. Having chicks has also made me go outside a lot more during quarantine, where I otherwise would have isolated myself from the world. Although I had mosquito bites ranging from my knees all the way down to my feet, these little devils became my little angels of joy, giving me motivation to get up out of bed in the morning, and gave me a conversation starter where I was able to break out of my shell, no pun intended, much quicker than before my chicks. For instance, this weekend I was talking to someone I barely knew when they mentioned my chicks and how much they loved seeing them on my social media platforms, which is a comment I surprisingly hear often, yet each time I do I get so excited and open up real quick. I’m so overjoyed to have my little chicks and, even for the farming state of New Jersey, the considered unusual pet of chickens, although disgusting, violent, and evil, are beautiful, loving creatures that I’m so honored to have the responsibility of raising and owning. 

**In loving memory of Lizzie, Lucy, Delilah and my dear Patty.