How will I impress,

Someone 

I’ve never met?

I know about what they’d be like

If they were to be all mine 

Because I do not search,

And I hope to attract

Someone

I’ve never met. 

I hope to attract kindness

I’m more jagged now but I am kind

I am mean but I am kind,

Maybe not joyfully helpful or contagiously bubbly 

But I’m understanding and kind.

I hope to attract respect

Not because I exude it all the time

Cause even I know that to be wrong

I hope to attract someone who understands me

And someone who allows me to understand them.

I hope to attract beauty

Nothing shallow

We are not our bodies

But someone who takes pride 

In who they are 

And is effortful in their appearance

But maybe thats a lie i tell myself to feel better

I hope to attract strength

Sometimes i don’t think im strong enough

But I hope not just to be stronger with her 

But to be stronger for her.

I hope to attract wisdom

Because when my will has stopped willing

I will need only her guidance as help

I hope to write and read you thousands of sonnets

Poems that will tell you effortful truths as to how I feel

What I think about and how lucky I feel as to have found you

Only I haven’t.

Show yourself.

Show yourself

For I hope to be my best for you

It is for you that I fight 

and though I long for you

I hope to grow patience

Show yourself

Sometimes when I am to wake at night

I dream a dream of you

So close

I could almost reach out and–

Oh what makes the point of the argument

Show yourself

I have become stagnant

Looking for you as manic as I have been

And though my patience grows thin it only grows again

Only to be trimmed and kept the same 

Expecting disappointment

I hope to get out of this refrain

Show yourself

For I am here

I wish you well 

I wish you were near

I wish you were here.