You tell me I am smart,

That I am strong, and brave,

Yet you condemn me when I speak of your shortcomings,

As they have affected me daily, “I did the best I could”.

You lie as you lay.

I’m sorry you think my thoughts were best saved.

When my own independent thoughts go against what you are preaching,

I’m so sick of these ceremonies that are tailored to your leeching,

On what you never had.

Why am I only allowed to be what you envision for me?

Maybe if I fail you’ll give up on me, 

And let me think what I had thought, or dream what I had dreamt.

The dances we will have, to not upset, people who care, but are not meant to be friends

Nothing seemed to please you then, 

And nothing seems to please you now,

Yet I find myself looking to you but I only see the frown you wear,

When money is thin, when business is bare, and you act like you carry it all,

Just

So

Perfectly.

I was able to see it then and I am able to see it now,

You never had to teach me anything, because as I watched you frown,

I learned what upsets you, and what makes you look down,

And I find myself wanting to be a reason that you are proud. 

To not frown or face your days with glum display, waiting until your debts are paid,

But that would never be a life outside your shadow, anyways,

I weep, and you pray