How To Deal With Your Crush From Afar


Samantha Montalbine, Staff Writer

Infatuation is something many people experience over their lifetime. As taught in your freshman health class, infatuation is the state of being completely carried away by an unreasonable passion or attraction. To explain, this is what you feel when you have feelings for a person who you don’t know well, most likely fueled by their physical characteristics. Of course, when you have these feelings towards someone you barely know, you’d want to befriend and get to know them. However, most of us don’t know how to do that nor how to get the courage in order to do so. Thus, here are 8 ways you can learn more about your crush, befriend them, and possibly even confess or ask them out:

1) Don’t Think Of Them As Your Crush
The first step in getting to know your crush is actually talking to them. This can be hard, because you’d most likely get really nervous when talking to them. So, try your hardest to think of them as anything but your crush. Thinking of them as someone who you’d simply want to befriend, would make it much easier to talk to them.

2) Actually Talk To Them
Sometimes talking to someone you don’t know can be hard to do in places such as school. So, try your best to find an opening, in a non-stalkerish way. For example, let’s say that before the bell rings, your class is able to stand in front of the door if you finish early. If you notice your crush standing alone, take a deep breath and say hi. In other situations, the best way to start a conversation is if it involves school. If you two are in the same class, you already have something in common, so take advantage of it! In order to have this conversation, you need to have confidence. You may be nervous, but you need to know that you can do it. If you do talk to them, try to keep talking to them over a period of time, and try finding other topics you can talk about.

3) See If You Can Get Their Number or Social Media Account(s)
After a while, talking should be easy for you two. So, if you see an opportunity, ask for their phone number or their social media account! Once again, this may be hard to bring up in a conversation, so try and find another opportunity. An example could be if they’re showing you a picture: ask if maybe they can send it to you. After they send it, make sure to act like it’s no big deal, add their name into your phone, thank them, and move on with the conversation.

4) Try Texting Them
Similarly to when you first talk to them, try and find an opening. School is always a great way to start a conversation. So when texting them for the first time, maybe ask about the homework. If you don’t think you can start a conversation based on it, maybe share a picture of video you think they’d find humorous. Finding ways to start conversation can be really hard, but keep at it. Just, not too often, that can be annoying.

5) Keep It Going!
If you’ve successfully gotten up to this step, that’s great! Now, you just gotta keep it going. Try learning more about this person through your conversations both in person and over text. If you still like them for both their physical and internal characteristics, then just keep talking to them!

6) See If You Can Hang Out
At the moment, you two would just be school friends. However, if you ever want anything to happen between you two, you’d have to take it to the next level. So, once again, find an opportunity to hang out in a non-school setting! It doesn’t necessarily have to be just you two, a group would be fine. This part can once again be a bit hard, but don’t worry too much about it! You just gotta find the right time and way to ask them, in a friendly manner. By hanging out in somewhere other than school, you two would be able to feel more comfortable around each other, making you closer in the process.

7) Look For The Signs
Now, here’s where things get harder. Now that you two are good friends, you should be talking in and out of school, hanging out too! When you’re with them, in a non-creepy manner, try and look for any signs that may show that they think of you as more than a friend. These signs can be small and mean other things, so don’t be overly joyed if you see your crush pointing their feet at you, yawning after you yawn, touching you or any other sign you can think of. Be happy, but not too hopeful.

8) Ask Them Out
Now, this is unfortunately the last thing I can advise, for it is the hardest thing that only you can do. If you think you can see the signs or if it’s been long enough and it’s worth the shot, confess or ask them out! You should find an opportunity to do it, but at the end of the day, you can only do it when you think it’s right.

x) Skipping A Few Steps
If you have someone who knows your crush, many of these steps can be made easier, if you’re honest with your friend and if they’re willing to help. Your friend can maybe introduce you two, say a common interest, and get conversations going in an easy way.  

I hope this can help you talk to your crush! Of course, these steps may not 100% work, because I, like you, am a person. I can’t predict how every one of your situations are or how they will go out, or how your crush will react. But in the end, I just wanna help you get out there and closer to the one you like. I hope this can help!