Is Chuck Berry a Phony?

“If it is referred to as a berry, then science should accept it as fact. And if science does, then the public should as well.” -Youtube commenter

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This photo, taken by Dylan Sepulveda, is in fact, fake; Chuck Berry does not have a berry for a head.

Rich DeZerga, Comedy Club Liaison

During the 1950’s, there was only one man that rivaled the popularity of Elvis, and that would be Chuck Berry. With the 1958 hit “Johnny B. Goode,” Chuck Berry is widely considered to be the world’s first rock star. However, recently Chuck Berry has come under fire.

Many question the legitimacy of his title. There have been allegations as to whether or not the rock star is actually a berry.

For years, due to the name, it was generally agreed upon that Chuck was in fact part of the berry family. However, after the 2006 controversy revealed that a tomato was indeed a fruit and not a vegetable, the public began questioning the clearly flawed produce classification system.

The debate as to whether or not Chuck Berry should be considered a berry saw little public attention. That is until September 2013 when an article in The Journal of Science-y Stuff stated that the strawberry is not in the berry family, but is rather a member of the rose family. This caused many to question the legitimacy of other berries.

“The blueberry isn’t even blue! How can we just go along with these wild ideas about berries if we can’t get the colors straight?!” tweeted one Chuck Berry hater. This was quickly followed up with 27 re-tweets and a “#truth” hashtag.

The public also began questioning if 44th president Barrack Obama is a berry or not. These allegations were quickly turned down when the public discovered that his childhood nickname was “Barry Obama” and not “Berry Obama.”

But the question remains, is the world’s first rock star really the main who he says he is? Or was he never what we thought he was in the first place? Much like the ex-planet Pluto.

Stay tuned next week where we will figure out just how little the rock star Little Richard is, and whether or not Johnny Cash is actually made out of cash. In other news, local newspaper misprint lead many to be confused as to whether or not John Lennon is actually a lemon.