Dear AriKhana,

Recently, I lost one of my best friends because of a simple mistake that I made. I feel like it is unfair for my friend to drop me after I have repeatedly apologized to her because I have given her so many chances, but she hasn’t even given me one. I’m really starting to miss my best friend, but she says that she needs time to figure things out and decide if she wants to be friends again. I don’t know what to say anymore because none of this is up to me, but I just really want my friend back. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Best Friends For Never

Dear BFFN,

I know what it’s like to lose a friend. I’ve lost many in my lifetime, and there is not one good thing about it. Despite this, you will make it through. If you are as close to your friend as you say you are, she most likely will not throw away your friendship over something insignificant. Keep that in mind through all of this. But the best thing to do in this situation is to give her the space that she is asking for. She is clearly very hurt by whatever it is that you did; Otherwise, she would not be asking for time alone. If you try to continuously ask for her forgiveness, she will be less likely to give it to you. You can’t control her decision, but by giving her the space and time to make it, she’ll recognize that you are caring about her and respecting her.

While her forgiveness is the desired outcome of this problem, brace yourself in case it’s not what you get. Perhaps, your mistake is too big for her to forgive, or maybe it has caused her to realize that you two aren’t on the same page anymore. Either way, you will need to learn to move on. You may feel alone at first, but always remember that there is someone out there just like you. Begin to expand your horizons and step outside your comfort zone; Opportunities and friends are sure to follow. You might even end up enjoying a new chapter in your life!

Stay positive, BFFN! The only thing you can do is move forward with an open mind! Best of luck.

All the best,

Ariana

Dear BFFN,

I know it’s tough losing your best friend, but it sounds like she may need some space. Obviously, it seems she is not ready to jump back into the friendship again. You might want to start taking things slow and maybe make small talk. Nothing big, just ask her how she is doing and casually talk about what’s going on. I’m sure she is taking the time to think about the situation. If you guys really are best friends, you have to trust that she is going to come back. Have faith in the fact that you two have a strong relationship and hope that it will prevail.

The worst thing you can do at this time is bother her about the situation and make her feel as though she is constantly being annoyed or bombarded by you. You have to give her time and wait for her to eventually forgive you. I know how much it stinks to not be able to talk to her right now, but make sure she knows exactly how you feel and how sorry you are. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what you say to her because she has to reach the conclusion herself. Let her come back to you. Waiting isn’t fun, but it’s better than losing your best friend forever.

Sometimes, people walk out of our lives for the better. You may not see it now, but this can really give you a chance to grow independently as a person and to make new friends. Even if she does come back, be sure you can support yourself and can stand on your own two feet without her. I understand that you have a lot invested in her, but realize she also has a lot invested in you. If she walks away from your friendship, know that it’s not your loss, it’s hers. Don’t lose hope yet though. Just give it time because time heals everything. Good luck with everything! In the meantime, don’t prevent yourself from living your own life.

Sincerely,

Khan