When you think of the word October, what comes to mind? Pumpkin Spice Latte? Murder? A Pumpkin Spice Latte Murderer!? Tragic. October is, in my opinion (and now in yours too), the best month of the year. Except of course for November, because that’s my birthday month. November 23rd people, DO NOT FORGET. Let’s just agree that fall is the best season. There are so many October-ish things you can do. It’s a month of nostalgia and nightmares. And if you don’t know what nostalgia is, go educate yourself.

October is going to be lit. Lit like the inside of a pumpkin. A jack-o-lantern! Wow, I really want to go pumpkin picking right now. Pumpkin picking definitely falls under the NOSTALGIA category of October. I’ve always had a blast picking out pumpkins as a kid, and if you have never done that before, you’re sad. Plain sad. I encourage you to go out pumpkin picking, no matter your age. Carving the pumpkins and painting on them is also a fun little craft. It’s the kind of things moms brag about on Pinterest, true, but you can’t deny how fun it is. When I was younger, this girl in my elementary school told me that if you eat the guts of the pumpkin, which looks like orange afterbirth, you get a free wish. Naturally I ate all of it. I threw up after, so maybe that’s why my wish never came true? I was as gullible as poor little Linus who waited for the Great Pumpkin. If you have no idea what I am referencing, then you disappoint me.

I live right near the Casola Farms Haunted Hayride on the border of Freehold and Malboro. (Please don’t use that as a clue to find out where I live.) Every night as I go to sleep, I hear the sickening theme song from the movie Halloween playing from the farm. Attached is the link, but if you’re too lazy to click it, just know that it is extremely ominous and scary to go to sleep to every night. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iP-jYiuDD9g .Traumatizing actually. Casola is an awesome place[wpdevart_youtube]iP-jYiuDD9g[/wpdevart_youtube] to go for NIGHTMARES: their Haunted Hayride, Haunted Corn Maze, and Haunted Trail will make you scared until April. Wow, they really utilize the word haunted to the max. Remember Disney Channel’s Halloween in April Week? Iconic. But if you do go, PLEASE ask the owners to turn the music down, because that never-ending, repeated hundreds of times a night hellish piano medley is probably on the Devil’s Soundcloud. I can’t take it anymore. I highly suggest you check out Casola Farms, as well as the Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia which I heard has actually caused people to have heart attacks and die. Totes recommend it.

For those of you who love being on the verge of death, and if you want to focus your October on the NIGHTMARES side of the spectrum, check out Clinton Road in West Milford. I, along with the Patriot Press, are 100% NOT advocating for you to go here. I am just merely reporting about what it is, and if you choose to go, then that is on you. No lawsuits when you disappear! Anyways, Clinton Road is notorious for being one of the most sinisterly ominous roads in America. In the world, actually. It is believed that satanic witch trials took place on the seemingly never ending road, strange animals like monkeys and hellhounds roam its woods, and a ghost boy resides under a mysterious bridge. No, not Danny Phantom, an actual ghost boy! Legend says (that sounded spooky, right?) that if you drive onto the bridge on Clinton Road and you leave a quarter on the mid-road yellow line, the coin will be returned to you at midnight by the ghost boy himself. Also, put baby powder on your car and wait. Legend also says (wow Legend talks a lot; I hope she understands that I’m telling you everything she is saying behind your back) that leaving baby powder on your car’s hood will allow ghosts to write messages. I don’t know how classy these messages will be, so please don’t take children with you. I am a big believer in ghosts and the supernatural, so I HIGHLY suggest not risking it. But if you do, definitely get it on GoPro. I want to see that ghost kid.

On a lighter note, let’s get back to NOSTALGIA. Corn mazes are pretty exclusive to October. We’re fortunate to live in New Jersey, a state where corn mazes are virtually everywhere. I suggest going on http://www.cornmazesamerica.com/directory.php?state=NJ , which, for those of you who are still too lazy to actually click on a link for once in your miserable little lives, shows you a map of every corn maze in your location. Corn mazes are my favorite thing in the world. Immediately following that is Scandal and coleslaw. Gosh I love me some good ‘slaw. Anyways, corn mazes may not have been your thing as a kid, but as teenagers there is so much more to it. Drive down with a bunch of your friends and race to see who can get out first. Or, invite the love of your life and keep her stowed away in the corn maze so you can have him/her all to yourself. You can pull a move out of Steven King’s horror classic The Shining and chase your petrified wife and son through the maze as well. Or, just go for the corn! I should get that on a bumper sticker. The possibilities are endless in a corn maze. And– fun fact: if you ever get lost in any kind of maze, not just those consisting of multiple corns, put your hand on the wall to your right and keep following. Take every twist the wall makes with your right hand on the wall, eventually you will find the exit. Trust me, I’m a doctor.

So whether you’re spending this Halloween in a pumpkin patch like Linus, or burying the bodies of your stereotypical cliché teenage friends who make horrible irrational decisions throughout the hour-and-a-half you spend together in your step-mom’s cabin resulting in the killer murdering off almost all of you until one of you– probably a girl because statistically women tend to survive in horror movies longer– realizes the killer is the school lunch lady or something stupid, have fun and try to mix things up. Combine both nostalgia and nightmares for the perfect Halloween experience. Here are some other things you should definitely do to experience all of what October has to offer:

Nostalgia:

– Watch ABC Family’s 13 Nights of Halloween for movies like Halloweentown, Halloweentown II: Caliber’s Revenge and Twitches.

• Reread that cute book Halloweenie about the wiener dog that never fit in except on Halloween night. I won’t ruin the ending, but let’s just say he murders three cats in cold blood and one feline is determined to bring that puppy to the doghouse.
• Reread Bunnicula, the ultimate horror experience about that vampire bunny! Don’t say you don’t remember it. Because you probably have it in your addict somewhere.

Nightmare:

–   Well, if you want to see a nightmare on screen, and not in an intentional way, definitely watch Jack Black in the Goosebumps Movie.

• Watch the movie It Follows. My friends Krissie and Caitlin (HEY GUYS) told me about it and it sounds CRAZY! A great movie for Halloween night!
• Visit Six Flag’s Fright Fest. Now open on weekends, experience a living nightmare by entering a dark theme park full of clowns and monsters and mazes galore. I went once and this clown yelled “IM GONNA KILL YOU” and I was like “I don’t believe you!” and then he chased me for like 3 blocks. Aaaaaand that’s why I don’t leave the house anymore.

Well that’s all my little brain has to offer. Thanks for reading and be sure to subscribe to my channel. Oh, this isn’t a youtube video? Dang it, I would have made such a good vlogger.