Greetings, and welcome back to October Horror Fest! You guys know what I can’t believe? I can’t believe that after THREE YEARS of writing for you all, our time together with October Horror Fest is in its final week. After today, we will have exactly one more week until Halloween, and WOW, time has flown. I won’t get too emotional about it now, but I PROMISE on the finale I will. But, it’s movie time! Today, I took a dive into a film that I’ve been wanting to watch for a while now. It’s funny, goofy, absolutely INSANE at times, and actually has some very Horror Fest worthy kills. It also may be a movie that you guys would be asking “Danny, did you finally go off the deep end?”, and honestly, I wouldn’t blame you. How about you guys just take a look for yourselves. Without further ado, sit back, relax, turn off the lights, grab some Candy and Popcorn, and let’s review…

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

We begin our film with a BUNCH of couples kissing in cars in a classic teenaged lover hangout spot, literally called “the top of the world”. They are just on the outskirts of Crescent Cove, the Californian town where our tale takes place. Inside one of the cars, we meet our head over heels couple, Mike and Debbie. (Mike’s literal last name is Tobacco and it isn’t important but I thought it was really funny). Mike is a PRANKSTER, but has a good heart. Debbie is very by the book, but loves to have fun once and a while, although she can be a real scaredy cat! As the couple stargaze together, they see a HUGE flying object zoom across the sky, glowing brilliantly. They, of course, go to check it out, as we cut to a farmer and his dog that were closer to where this object seemed to be landing. The farmer believes that the UFO was the iconic Halley’s Comet, and takes his dog Pooh (named after Winnie) out to investigate the impact sight. However, once he arrives, all he finds is a huge carnival tent. What?

Our man is VERY confused, until we see a KLOWN (I know the spelling is off but I’m being faithful to the title), appear from a hole in the tent, as Pooh gets caught in a net! (Yes, this animal is then eaten but this is literally all we ever see of him, R.I.P. Pooh). Pooh gets taken inside, and the farmer is then hit from behind with some sort of pink ray beam, apparently causing lots of damage as the farmer screams. These “things” are as they say, they are literally Killer Klowns from Outer Space. The “klowns” of course look like clowns, but are different beings altogether.

Shortly after this happens, Mike and Debbie arrive on the scene, and although Debbie does NOT want to go into the tent (I don’t blame her, I don’t HATE clowns but I certainly wouldn’t want to be around them too much), but the evereasy Mike convinces her to join. After a few normal looking hallways, though, the pair find themselves travelling through futuristic doors, eventually ending up in several rooms that are #1 too big for a tent, and #2 WAYYYY too futuristic (one of the rooms I literally said “holy star wars” out loud). The couple keep finding more and more bizarre rooms, as Debbie BRILLIANTLY works out (in like two seconds by the way), that the tent is some sort of spaceship, and whatever the comet was, they are inside of it. Our couple continues to explore for just a bit more, as they find a HUGE room with pink cocoons littered around, which Mike initially guesses is cotton candy. However, after Mike peels away the pink substance, he finds the SKINNED BODY of the farmer, and one of Mike’s friends. The pair are obviously horrified, as a Klown appears and begins to give chase. The pair are BARELY able to make it out as the Klown shoots popcorn at them with a bazooka. The klowns then pursue our duo on foot, as Mike HITS THEM with his car, and speeds off into the night. However, behind them, we see a whole mini army of klowns following him.

Our pair ZIPS to the police station, where we have a run in with Officer Dave Hansen and his partner Curtis Mooney. We briefly met these guys just a few scenes ago, but it wasn’t of TOO much importance. The main thing is, Mooney SUCKS. He is just a plain mean man and I’m not even going to lie when I say that I wanted him to die from the second I started up the movie like this guy is so rude to literally everyone, especially the teens. Debbie begs Dave to believe them, and we learn that Dave is Debbie’s ex-boyfriend (GREAT situation for our boy Mike). After Mooney makes fun of the teens, Dave sets out with the pair, not before dropping Debbie off at her house, where Debbie and Mike share a kiss. Dave hops in the car with Mike, and they set out to where the tent was. However, once our boys finally arrive, the tent is GONE. A HUGE crater has now taken its place, and Dave, already fed up with Mike just because of the Debbie thing, arrests our boy. (He also feels like he’s lying but it’s mostly the Debbie thing). However, on the way back to town, our duo (who become literally such good friends as the movie progresses, they tried to set up a love triangle between Debbie, Mike, and Dave and although it doesn’t work 100% all the characters work so well with each other), find SEVERAL abandoned cars next to the teenage lovers spot. Dave hops out of the car, only to find the same pink cocoon material that Mike described to him. Dave has to call it there, it’s real. He takes a pair of glasses out from the cocoon, which Mike recognizes as another one of his friends. Dave now believes that the Klowns are an actual problem (only took you 45 minutes), as the pair heads out into town once more, now with Mike being innocent.

However, the ENTIRE TIME this is happening, absolute mayhem is happening in town. Klowns are appearing left and right (there isn’t enough time to go over EVERY stunt the Klowns pull, but it is absolutely nuts). Klowns are messing about with each other, and pull various pranks and do various circus acts. However, most of the time during these displays, the bystanders end up DEAD, either through the Klowns doing (a Klown literally decapitates a biker it is the most insane thing I’ve ever seen), or through the ray gun that puts their bodies into the cocoons. It is NOT looking good for Crescent Cove! Our boys finally reach town, and during their drive, they spot a Klown doing AMAZING shadow puppets (finger puppets) onto a wall behind them, using its alien powers to create amazing shadows. However, eventually, once our boys arrive, the shadow turns into a DINOSAUR, with one pink eye (I know this sounds crazy but I actually really enjoyed this movie and you guys should TOTALLY give it a whirl), as the Klown is somehow able to use the shadow to actually swallow up the bystanders, shrinking them, and inserting them into a huge bag of popcorn. After we see this, the Klown jumps away, and our boys split their paths. Dave heads back to the station to find Mooney, as Mike hops out of the car and rushes to his friends, Rich and Paul, also known as the Terenzi Brothers. These guys are PRANKSTERS on a level you have never seen, and perfectly sum up 1988 (the year this movie was released). They rented an ice cream truck (which just so happens to have a huge decorative clown head (an ACTUAL clown) on top of it) with the sole intent of picking up girls. Mike gets into the truck, and along with his friends, begin blasting messages to the town saying to stay away from the Klowns. All the while, our trio is heading towards Debbie’s house, as Mike is worried she is in danger.

All this excitement with Mike, why don’t we check in on Dave and Mooney? As Mooney sits at his desk, DELIBERATELY IGNORING CALLS AS HE FEELS THE KLOWNS ARE A JOKE (this guy…), he is interrupted by the emergence of a Klown walking into his office (WOOOOO). Mooney obviously believes the Klown to be just another “teenage delinquent”, and makes SEVERAL unsuccessful attempts to put the Klown behind bars. However, once he gets the Klown into a jail cell (the Klown went willingly), along with two other jailmates, the Klown uses a party blower that TURNS INTO A HAND to strangle Mooney, knocking his head against the bars (yeah see, this is what I love about this movie! It is INSANE, but it has its moments!) Once Dave arrives, the entire Police Department is in shambles, with red footsteps stuck onto every surface. Dave walks into the holding cell, only to find pink cocoons EVERYWHERE, with a bloody arm literally falling out of one. Dave walks back into the main office to see a Klown sitting in Mooney’s chair, WITH A DEAD MOONEY BEING USED AS A VENTRILOQUIST DUMMY. The Klown literally removes its bloody hand from a hole in Mooney’s back, and advances on Dave. However, Dave is able to get a perfect shot off, shattering the Klown’s nose. The Klown then spins around in a green explosion (yeah it’s weird), and explodes into confetti. 

Back with DEBBIE, finally! Debbie steps out of her much needed shower, only to find the popcorn she dragged in from earlier has TRANSFORMED INTO YOUNG KLOWNS! That’s right, the Popcorn is the larva of the Klown species, and explains why the Klown from earlier fed his captive bystanders to the bag of the stuff. Stuff is going NUTS in Debbie’s home as she runs to get away from the young Klowns. However, backup arrives (NOT in her favor), as more Klowns show up and shoot her with a BLUE ray beam, trapping her in a huge yellow balloon. The Klowns then attach the balloon to their own vehicle, and drive off. Mike (with the brothers) and Dave all witness this at the exact same time, and begin to give chase, with Dave hopping in the truck with the boys (I love the dynamic between Dave and Mike, they are REALLY chill with each other and honestly seem like good friends). OF COURSE, the Klowns drive to an amusement park, where they throw SEVERAL pies at a security guard, literally melting the flesh off his body. (No, I’m not joking, Mike, Dave, and the Bros arrive shortly after this, and literally see a skeletal arm poking out of the pile of pies). The gang of boys heads into a HUGE funhouse, where the Terenzis become “occupied” with two female Klowns (very in character). Dave and Mike keep going through the funhouse, eventually realizing that they are IN THE SHIP! That’s right, the Klowns relocated from the forest to the amusement park, and our boys are standing in the belly of the beast. Looking around, they see HUNDREDS more cocoons than were there in the beginning of the film, as a Klown literally drinks the blood from a cocooned person. 

Our boys jump out of hiding, eventually finding Debbie’s balloon, and freeing her (while the grand escape happens, Debbie is VERY clingy to both Dave and Mike). Eventually, after SEVERAL wacky escape sequences (with Dave being a badass and using his gun to shoot Klown noses left and right), our group finds themselves in a huge room surrounded by an absolute legion of Klowns. Our trio heads to higher ground, and prepares for their final stand. BUT, THE TERENZIS ARRIVED IN THE VAN, literally BLASTING through the wall. The boys are covered in kisses, as they use the PA system to act like the clown head on top of the van, pretending to be a Klown with authority, and telling the other Klowns to stand down. This gives enough time for the group to get to the van, and are ready to GO. BUT, it is not over yet. Suddenly, huge strings appear from the ceiling, dropping a MASSIVE Klown (known as Jojo the Klownzilla) onto the platform. Jojo begins BRUTALLY beating up the van (first going for the Clown head of course), as our main trio gets to safety. Sadly, our bros are not so lucky. The van goes FLYING into the wall (they didn’t want to get out of it because it was a rental, once again, very in character), as the ENTIRE VAN blows up into a huge plume of fire.

Dave then tells Mike and Debbie to RUN and find help, although they are of course very apprehensive to the idea. They do, however, oblige, and find their way out (no idea how they got out so quick and easy, it is NOT explained), as the Police Force from a neighboring town arrives outside. Dave begins to shoot at the Klown to distract and hopefully kill it, as the ship (tent) begins to glow a bright orange and rapidly spin, levitating into the sky and preparing for takeoff. Jojo picks up Dave, and RIGHT BEFORE it squishes him, Dave takes off his badge, and uses it to stab Jojo’s nose, causing the gargantuan Klown to explode. The ENTIRE ship explodes, as Debbie and Mike watch on in horror (fest). HOWEVER, ALL IS NOT OVER! One of the Klown cars comes FLYING out of the sky, landing next to the duo. OUT COMES DAVE!!! He gets out, his uniform tattered, as Mike and Debbie rush to him. BUT, THE BROTHERS APPEAR AS WELL! They somehow hid inside of the ice cream freezer as the van exploded, and begin to bicker about how they are going to pay for the van. Our trio watch with smiles as fireworks paint the sky due to the destruction of the ship. The SECOND Debbie asks if it’s over, and Mike says “yeah, sure”, Pies come FLYING out of the sky, landing on our trio, as carnival music blairs, and we fade to black…

THERE WE HAVE IT! Guys, I’ve wanted to watch this movie for SO long now. I’m so happy that I was able to share it with you guys, and I hope you enjoyed the wacky world of Killer Klowns! But, seriously, it is October 23rd. Tomorrow marks one week left, and WOW, I am ready. Let me give you guys a little teaser, let’s just say that the Killer Klowns may not be the only “clowns” I’m covering for the Final Chapter. I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED IT! And, of course, remember this, dear readers. BEWARE THE KILLER KLOWNS…