Tips on how to tell or ask your parents something that they may not agree with:

When it comes to telling your parents certain things, it may be hard. Parents have the tendency to be set in their ways and not be the most open to ideas, especially if they have openly expressed their disapproval before. This then makes the process of actually telling them more difficult. However, there are five main things that one can do, in order to make the process easier. 

• Be polite and ask at the right time

When discussing anything with your parents, their mood will always have an impact on the response. So, when you need to have a conversation with them about what you want or need to tell them, ask at a good time. Make sure the parents are in a positive mood and will be open to your ideas. Having the right attitude about the situation also goes a long way. Make sure you are polite, understanding, and open to an alternative as well. Being closed off to anything but what you want out of the conversation can be just as important. Be sure to use a calm and sensible tone, give them respect while talking, do not turn the discussion into a scream fest, and have an open mind.

•  Prove your case

Parents always like to have the facts layed out in front of them. They prefer to know everything about the point you are trying to make in order to give a response that they think is fair. So, make sure that you have the basics prepared. When telling your parents something make sure you describe the location, situation, people involved, and any other details that will help you establish what you are trying to say. When asking your parents something, describe when it is, the time, place, people involved, parental consent of all those involved, safety precautions, and anything that will persuade your parents in a positive light. Stating the facts of the situation will not only allow your parents to get a grasp of your idea, but also prove to them that you are taking the matter seriously. Thus, it will lead them to understanding how important this may be, leading you to have a more positive response. 

• Showcase how it benefits your parents

A lot of the time parents see that if something benefits you, it also benefits them. However, in certain situations parents can be so set in their ways that they refuse to believe that the situation benefits them. So, prove how it benefits them. An example could be you want to go on a road trip with your friend. Some examples of how it could benefit your parents is the fact that you are going to use your own money for the trip, it will give you a chance to showcase your responsibility, it will give your parents some deserved alone time, and they do not have to worry about you being in a different area alone because you will be with your friend. Simple benefits that ease a parent’s mind is key to getting your way. 

• Be okay with compromise

Many parents believe that their way is the best way because of their previous experience and understanding of life. So, try to find a way to compromise. Get something that you want, but also allow your parents to get something they want. Your goal is to make your case and get something out of the conversation. In doing so, you have to be okay with altering your version of that goal to obtain what you truly want. Sometimes you just will not persuade your parents to have something. Yet, when they are willing to seek other solutions to the problem, agree to it. Getting a small portion of what you want is better than nothing at all.

• Show appreciation and be thankful

A final point to telling or asking your parents something they might not agree with is showing appreciation. Your parents may not agree with what you are trying to accomplish, but they also do not want to walk away from the conversation more annoyed or upset. So, take the higher road and be thankful. Thank them for the time they took out of their day to hear you out and appreciate them trying to see your side of the situation. In doing so it will not only showcase how mature you are at handling the situation, but it may also lead to your parents rethinking their decision. How you leave the conversation sticks with your parents. Leave it on a bad note, your parents will definitely not want to agree with you. But, leave it on a good note and your parents may consider allowing you to do whatever it is you please.

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