I loved you

I loved you so much

I loved you more than 

I could ever hope to love

I loved you so much

That now it just hurts 

All asked was that you were honest 

And communicate your words

You have broken me for the last time

Even if you do want me

You will have to beg and plead now 

Because I am sick and tired of constantly being let down

You are a coward

And you hide behind your I love you’s

And you hide behind your pain 

And you tell them how you feel praying it won’t come back to me

But this time it did

They didn’t have the right to say anything

But you over everyone didn’t have the right to string me on as if your feelings could change within the hour

Do you love me or do you not

Do you just want me to hang around for you and wait until your 18 with a bouquet of flowers

While you text and talk to whoever has what you “need”

I’m not just gonna sit down

And obey you like a dog

I’m so sick of being beta hound

To someone who only shoots me down

With the  3 ammunition the 3 I gave to you when I said “I love you” and didn’t ask for you to say anything in return

How could I have meant nothing to you

When to me you meant the world 

It’s not like when we met I’d only see you in the halls

We were best friends and I had a broken heart from losing the one person I loved above all

And you played me and you say I love you back

I cried over how I wish you could have met her

How I thought it was all in my head

I went crazy just from thinking “could I be making this up” 

Because you pursued me first 

It doesn’t make any sense to me

And as I come undone

You feed yourself with the scraps of attention people throw away 

And beg them not to leave 

And while I chose to stay you never loved me like you said or you’d never hurt me in this way

If you had told me maybe I could have coped and understood

But now I’m just heartbroken over someone I never could have lost because she was never mine

That never wanted to be mine

Was I just an accessory to you

Was I just an experience to you

Was I just something broken you wanted to fix and quit when things got hard that made your love grow thin

Was I just a way to make your parents mad

To buy you things

To make you glad

That you weren’t someone like me

That loves so very deeply

Was I just a preference you wanted to pursue do you think my love is a game and that you’ll always be the one I chose

I wanted you to be the only one that I chose

I wanted you to be my mine

Not an accessory 

Not an experience

I wanted you to be mine

My family

My world

My everything

I finally loved myself but you went and stole everything

I feel tired and

I feel so angry

And I know I promised I’d never yell

But all I want to do is scream at you for having broken me like everyone who ever hurt me 

But maybe I should be more mad at myself for letting it happen

for thinking that we could ever be more than friends again